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The Dictionary Squad

Don't Worry, It's Less Educational Than It Sounds

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Once upon a time, Fanfiction.net was a wild and dangerous place. Bad fanfic roamed the streets freely and menacingly. Grammar and proper spelling fled before its path, and all cries for mercy by the innocent internet readers were silenced cruelly by little anime smiley faces... faces that would only repeat to them their soulless cries of "Read and Review! Read and Review!"

But against this scourge a noble league of writers-- the MSTers-- rose in protest. Mimicking the style of something they saw on TV, they ridiculed the drunken teenagers and 12-year-old fangirls of FF.net, lowering their self-esteem and keeping the tide of songfics and improbable character pairings at bay. One such band of these MSTers was THE DICTIONARY SQUAD. Beginning in early 2001, they conquered a great deal of RPG badfic, ranging from overly-obsessed-with-Sephiroth's-phallic-weaponry fic, to artificial-domestic-abuse-to-Terra-when-it-never-happened-in-the-game-and-she-could-probably-kick-the-guy's-ass-anyway fic. And the world was a better place because of it.

But the corrupt bureaucracy of the land decided one day that no author, however horrific his work, should be subjected to the ridicule that the MSTers brought upon them, and THE DICTIONARY SQUAD was banished from FF.net. Now, badfic roams there unrestrained, uninhibited, and impermeable, with the MSTers scattered and powerless. But no more! For THE DICTIONARY SQUAD has returned to the internet in the medium of Livejournal.com, and it craves the sweet, beefy taste of justice. Badfic must be brought to its knees, to make the internet safe again. So, onward, literate warriors! Onward to glory and proper usage of punctuation marks!



THE DICTIONARY SQUAD!!

Roget the Fabulous
Age: 23
Favorite Food: French Fries
Weight: 135
Favorite Meteorological Condition: Raining Men

If numbers could feasibly be used as letters, Roget would certainly be dubbed the 1337est of the group. Well-versed in the arcane art of console video games, he is capable of bringing grown men to their knees with his ability to make obscure game references. Despite his professed love of men, he has a bizarre obsession for perky, blond girls from FFX. And by that, he means the blond perky girl in FFX that ISN'T Tidus.

Merriam the Magnificent
Age: 19
Blood Type: B Positive
Favorite Pizza: Pineapple
Favorite "Your Mom" Joke: The One Where It's Insinuated That She Had Sexual Intercourse With Your Mom

Merriam is the token female of the group -- but you wouldn't know that from hearing her talk. With a mind like a steel trap... that fell into a sewer... she's always the first to make a link between a given line and bizarre sexual activities. The crowning achievement of her career was beating out KawaiiChick1 on Ebay, and securing Celes' Boob Armor for her very own...

Webster the Conqueror
Age: 19
Favorite Beverage: The Tears of the Disadvantaged
Comic Strip Role Model: Snoopy
Super Hero Power: Stomaching all the junk he reads with minimum regurgitation

An acolyte of the dark arts of RPGs, and a master Dungeon... um... Master, Webster knows many of the secrets of the dorkiest and most maladjusted souls to be found on the internet. His keen insights into human psychology are matched only by his obsession with phallic weaponry. He also goes to an Ivy League school, which makes him a better person than you.

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